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No matter how hard we try not to, we constantly over-schedule ourselves. My parents are 79 and 82 and even they find themselves running from Pilates to breakfast with friends, and then to their staple triangle of doctors, church, and grocery shopping. Glance at any parent today and whether they have one or twelve children, they are on the go. They scald to their destinations like a baseball player slides into home as the verdict “Safe!” looms in the dust. Looks of relief laced with exhaustion appear on their faces as they plop in their waiting chairs, poised for the next leg of their parental race. Personally, I zoom around just like the next guy, kids in tow, dropping off, picking up, and carpooling precious cargo from school to swim, baseball, church, then mountain biking.

SCHEDULING OVERLAP

Yesterday, we had a hat trick day. Three simultaneous events, and the natural occurrence of a scheduling overlap. So, we had our timing precisely coordinated. The plan: as my husband mountain biked with our son, I would take our daughter to swim, then our youngest to his baseball game. During batting practice, I would run for 30 minutes around the field, hovering like an Army Black Hawk helicopter, then go pick up our daughter from swim. Therefore, leaving one twenty-minute window where I would not be at the baseball field, but would alert the coaches I would be right back. 

You may have peeked through this 20-minute window before.

Here’s what it is:

1. It’s the 20 minutes of time when you are fairly confident your child will be okay if you leave them in a public place with people they know and parents you trust.
2. It’s the same 20 minutes of time you will panic every second you leave your child alone at a location while you are in transit to collect other family members.
3. It’s the exact 20 minutes you will pray your child doesn’t get pummeled with a ball, bat, lacrosse stick, swim fin, or any other object causing the impending concussion adolescents suffer in today’s sports world.
4. Finally, it’s the 20 minutes you drive soooo carefully so as to not get pulled over or cause a fender bender, completely ruining the carefully manicured plan you are in the middle of implementing.

Fortunately, I made it back in 19 minutes and as soon as I saw my son in the dugout he exclaimed,

“You missed it! I just hit an inside-the-park home run!”

Of course, I did. What could possibly happen in 20 minutes?

As a parent, I have trained myself to think the worst, you know the thinking…your child says the wine at church “is really tasty” and you begin budgeting time for AA meetings. OR your child loves high-speed, precarious bike riding, which in your mind is the inevitable precursor to a teenage driver who cruises way too fast on I-75, so you begin bargaining with God now. And clearly, addiction to sugar equals future drug problems. Do you get the gist?

Even though I consider myself a half-full kinda gal, I never thought something amazing would happen during the 20-minute window. But it did, and I couldn’t be more grateful it was positive (thank God for covering our overlap). On the heels of our son’s announcement of his hit, our daughter, who would rather have a root canal than watch a two-hour baseball game declared, “See! It’s good luck when we’re not here! We should definitely go home. It’s in everyone’s best interest.” “We’re staying, I’ll bet you he can do it again!” I announced.

As our daughter rolled her eyes all the way to the bleachers and set up her studying workspace, our family mountain bikers hustled in from the parking lot questioning what they missed. “Just 20 minutes,” I said. Right then, our home run hitter called them over to the dugout for a play-by-play. I beamed as I heard him exclaim “Then I slid into home!”

Yup, you just never know what can happen in twenty minutes. If you have the overlap:

1. Let trusted adults know the plan
2. Drive safely
3. Pray for all things positive

Who would have thought, the first at-bat my husband and I miss, and it’s a home run!

DIG DEEP: Even if you only have 30 minutes while you wait for batting practice or your child’s orthodontist appointment, walk or run around the parking lot or field. Movement makes moms more cheerful.

BACK POCKET PRAYER (keep this prayer in your “back pocket” as you go through your week):

Clear clutter in your home and give away anything you are not using. In the words of Mother Theresa:

I like lists. Mostly to do lists. I don’t always love the to-do’s on the list, but there is a definite satisfaction that comes with checking items off as they are completed. Sometimes, I’ll even tack on already completed items to the list, just to cross something out. When I started using lists in college, they looked like this:

• Study for finals
• Dorm meeting
• Work shift at the restaurant
• Run
• Buy flowers
• Lay out in the sun
• 10 cent wings at Granny’s Restaurant for dinner

The joy of college! As expected, over the years, my lists have changed. A smidgen.

I’ve also imposed this chronicling of responsibilities on my children. When they were young, I presented “visual lists” of made beds, clothes in hampers, potty time, and brushed teeth, which graduated to wordy reminders to complete homework, prep backpacks, and clean rooms. Even though they are only half-listening, I tell the kids to “Let the list lead you”. It saves me from the continuous broken record nagging that causes eye rolling, heavy sighing, and the vicious circle of “why’s?!” that ricochet off of every calmly presented request which quickly morphs into a cacophonous command.

Some of our children (the boys) do not embrace the power of lists as much as I do, and employ their own strategies:

1) School Agenda – assignments and tests are written daily, logical substitute

2) Backs of hands – imminent items are scrawled on hands – a unique, yet messy, and hard to miss option.

Conversely, our daughter, armed with a pack of thin markers of every hue, creates colorful, fancy-font to-do lists she designs when she takes a break from preparing her crafty “vocab” cards for school.

STRONGLY RECOMMENDED IDEA: To accompany the lists, I also make a calendar each month and display it in the kitchen where everyone can see the upcoming games, appointments, practices, and other events. Although drawing the design is another item to put on my own TO DO List, I truly enjoy setting it up. It’s my one artful contribution to our home, plus it serves a purpose and answers all of the “When’s my….” or “What time is the…” questions.

Functional and fun.

Although I filmed this in the incorrect format, here’s my process. Take a peek.

Today’s takeaway:

Even if other “have-to’s” are pending, take the time find something you enjoy and do it. Whether it’s drawing a flower on a calendar or prepping your garden space for planting tomatoes. Heck, just slap your new me-item on your To Do list and make it an official have-to. Life flies by, and it’s in our best interest to enjoy every minute.

Dig Deep: Take time to stretch. Find a fitness class that focuses on a variety of movements, yoga or pilates (my mom’s favorite) are perfect options.

Faith and Fortitude: Here’s the quote on my calendar this month – it actually connected with the sermon from mass today. But maybe sermons are like horoscopes and you can always find a connection.

“Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them.”

Thanks so much for reading and stay tuned for next Sunday’s post.

40 Reflections #39: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

I should have read this Holy Saturday information first thing this morning to set the tone for the day, but I didn’t.

Holy Saturday
Holy Saturday (from Sabbatum Sanctum, its official liturgical name) is sacred as the day of the Lord’s rest; it has been called the “Second Sabbath” after creation. The day is and should be the most calm and quiet day of the entire Church year, a day broken by no liturgical function.

If only I planned my days more efficiently, my calendar would look like this:

1. Holy Saturday – be calm
2. Standardized Testing for kids – encourage them to be happy and not stressed
3. Doctor’s Appointment – be brave

So even though my family’s Saturday did not launch with a Biblical message or a devotion, it started out like most mornings, noisy, emotional, and busy. Breakfast was eaten, a preview/timeline of the day was given, and reminders of chores were issued.

Twenty minutes later, as with most growing kids, hunger returned…eating continued, and louder, less-loving reminders of the previously “forgotten” chores were delivered.

We continued the day with egg dying, planning for friend’s visits, and prepping for Easter Sunday. Cello music hummed through our home, basketballs bounced, and bikes soared over ramps. As a lector for the Holy Saturday Mass, I reviewed my reading, and reminded everyone to prep their clothes and be ready by 5:00 pm, of course at this point it was only 9:00 am, but God likes punctual.

Holy Saturday Mass

I love being a lector. I love being part of something bigger than me and helping out with such a beautiful, and powerful event. When trained as a lector, the most important lesson I learned was:

It is not about me. 

This resonated in my soul, mainly because I love reading aloud. To anyone. Especially our children (I don’t care if they are old, I’m reading!). I’ll read whatever the kids want to listen to, butchering the voices in Harry Potter and insisting Pooh’s buddy Christopher Robin has an Australian accent, which shockingly sounds a lot like Harry Potter’s voice.

When reading for mass, I understood I should NOT make the words in the Bible about me. For instance, don’t be overly dramatic when reading or suddenly decide Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John grew up with an Irishman who influenced their speech greatly, and proceed to read with a lilt.

Upon arrival at church, I checked in as “Reader #5” and was informed there were only four readings and therefore no need for the fifth reader, me. Initially, I was a bit crestfallen, but understood it was a simple clerical error.

Although I was ready to read Isaiah, I remembered: it (whatever “it” means to us) is definitely not about me. It is about being calm, knowing your God-inspired purpose, and understanding your role in the world. “It” is about God.

Author John Piper writes,

“Perhaps our place is not at the center of the universe. God does not exist to make much of us. We exist to make much of him.”

And as we make much of Him, we will find the calm amid the noisy mornings, and sit on the bench as Reader #5, listening and following the word of God.

Dig Deep: Go for a nice, long, slow run today.

Lenten Challenge: Say your rosary and look up your saint day!

40 Reflections #38: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

Good Friday

With Opening Day for Baseball Season occurring all over the country and Good Friday Services on its heels, I thought about sacrifice. Yours, mine, and God’s.

In that spirit, I asked our kids to think of a sacrifice they have made this past week.

1. “Grades,” was the first response. “I did well on one test and sacrificed my grade on another.” My daughter also said that even though her swim meet was fun, she sacrificed study time.
2. In baseball, our son said he sacrificed a fly ball for an RBI giving his team the lead in the game.
3. Our middle guy said he has sacrificed mountain biking on the trails due to all the rain, which he added, is the right thing to do to keep up the trails.
4. As parents, we sacrifice time, workouts, haircuts, and whatever it takes for our children. (I lied about workouts)
5. As children (thank you sisters), we sacrifice our established lives, without qualms, to care for our aging parents. After all, they sacrificed more for us than we could ever imagine.

How many times in your life have you stepped away from an opportunity to allow someone else to enjoy a shot at glory? That’s sacrifice. When our boys sit through insanely long swim meets or dance recitals. That’s sacrifice. When our daughter reads the entire Babysitter Club Series through baseball, lacrosse, and soccer games in the scorching heat. That’s sacrifice. Forgoing sleep to finish this blog. That’s sacrifice. You, taking the time to read this. That’s sacrifice. (thank you)

Jesus dying on the cross, that is the Ultimate Sacrifice.

Dig Deep: Let your body rest today, fast if you can, and drink lots of water.

Lenten Challenge: Make a list of sacrifices you have made in the last week.

40 Reflections #37: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

The other day my son asked if he could design an emoji for me. I agreed and he followed me around the kitchen as if he were sketching me with his thumbs on a screen, like DaVinci with a data plan. Once he got to the hair selection, I glanced over at the App and saw a cute, sassy haircut which looked fabulous on the emoji. Feeling like I should have a voice in the process, I submitted my request for the attractive haircut and reminded him in the right lighting my eyes are a sparkly hazel. He continued with facial features such as “face lines” (only 2!), ear size (“pretty normal, mama”), body type (he went with a small frame…smart boy) and a sporty outfit.

Within the parameters of the emoji menu, my human appearance was complete, although I’m still unsure why my head is so large. I (my emoji) looked so darn cute. Why couldn’t I use this for my next driver’s license picture? A genius idea!

When I researched the word emoji, I found Vyvyan Evans, a cognitive linguist, “studying emoji entails exploring everything from the nature of communication to the evolutionary origins of language to how meaning arises in the human mind. As he writes in his compelling new book The Emoji Code, far from being a fad, emojis reflect fundamental elements of communication; and in turn, this all shines a light on what it means to be human”. In plain speak, it’s an animated Scooby-Doo character version of ourselves with expression and text bubbles.

As humans, I often wonder if we are hardwired to focus on our flaws, eventually causing ancillary anxiety in our lives. Many of us peer in the mirror and see what others don’t: wrinkles, mystery spots, unkempt eyebrows, and bags under the eyes large enough to use at Costco. Choosing our eye and hair color and switching the style of our skinny jeans with one click is not an option. God gave us our individual attributes, and like they say in the south, we “get what we get and we don’t pitch a fit”. One bonus is we can shell out five dollars for a box of hair dye and tweak God’s formula just a touch.

I finally sat down for my cup of tea tonight, and dangling from the bag was this: So very true. With all the insecurities and worries trying to sabotage opinions of ourselves, we are bound to stay the course and love who we are both inside and out.

After my son completed my emoji, I peered into my own semi-hazel eyes and decided my reflection is something I cherish, even with all its wrinkles and gray hairs. Nevertheless, I think I’ll take the picture of my emoji into my hair stylist and see if she can replicate it, then I’m going to renew my driver’s license.

Dig Deep: Listen to the next Best Lent Ever  video and hold a plank for the duration.

Lenten Challenge: Go through the readings for the Tridium, discuss with your family, and mentally prepare your children for the profound Saturday mass.

40 Reflections #36: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

All the stars were aligned for a baseball game tonight. The weather was ideal, the parking lot was nearly empty and unriddled with invented parking spaces, parents had their multi-cup-holding chairs set up, and the kids were spirited and ready.

While standing behind the backstop, I spoke to an elderly woman who said, “Oh, that must be your son.” Perhaps she heard me shout things like, “wait for your pitch, good cut,” you get the idea. Or maybe it was because I had a camera pointed directly at him. “Yes, it is” I responded. “My grandson is next to bat” she continued. We chatted further about how fortunate she feels to be able to watch the games and see her grandson. I added how I love hanging out near the dugout where I can hear conversations boys have about pitchers, snacks, and “lit” pro players. She said she wondered if the kids enjoyed the games as much as we did.

While we sat, we could hear one player in the dugout bellowing out textbook baseball chatter, “Come on kid, you’ve got this, you’re going to do great kid, wait for your pitch kid.” The encouragement was nonstop and straight from the heart. The same player hollered inspirational words from center field to my son as he pitched. The other boys began the chanting also, and suddenly it was as if the players were virtually boosting each other on their shoulders with positive baseball jargon. As the game went on, there were errors, strikeouts, base hits, doubles, and fly balls. But with each play, the sentiment remained positive, and I couldn’t help but think the credit should go to the cheering player whose curly-hair held his cap high on his head, much like his enthusiasm.

At the bottom of the last inning, I walked over to say goodbye to the sweet grandmother, and as a base hit brought our team ahead by three points, she admitted, “I can’t believe I get butterflies like the boys.” “Me too.” I agreed, telling her my heart rate also zooms when the excitement builds for anything my kids do. Before she rolled her wheelchair away, she smiled and said, “You know, we are both good moms.” “Thank you,” I replied, touched I had my own cheerleader. After all, moms need to raise each other up as well.

Honestly, the best part of baseball is watching the boys put their thoughts aside, play ball, endure each run and out, and lean on each other for support. Personally, I wish the curly-headed player would yell out to me each morning, “Come on kid, we can do this life thing kid, we got this kid!!”

Dig Deep: Especially when you get to the point of mental fatigue, keep your thoughts positive and do a steady state exercise (walk, run, swim, etc.) for at least 20 minutes.

Lenten Challenge: Model optimism with your families. Pray for positive words to lead you in conversation.