LENTEN REFLECTIONS
In the beginning, I blogged for 40 days.
And so it happened, I did it.
Many thanks for reading.
Thanks to my family for enduring “Blogging Season”.
Please continue to follow my blog.
Run on, eat smart, and love life.
Month: April 2019
Holy Week…then and now…
LENTEN REFLECTIONS #40
As Holy Week wraps up, I’m reminded of how things change over the years. Growing up, Holy Week was a quiet time. Typically we would have Thursday and Friday off from school and prep the menu for Easter Sunday. Somewhat of a nod to Thanksgiving dinner, with a few dishes thrown in to mix it up. One vivid memory is my Aunt Eugenia’s salad.
Always toting items from her Amway inventory, she was the aunt who rode motorcycles, brought her bird “Bonita” to visit, and played the accordion for Sunday mass. I’ve been told I have the same sharp-slanted nose as her.
She’d arrive carrying a big bowl and tongs from a recent Tupperware party and she had a knack for chopping everything in the salad tiny like a Cuisinart before they were a thing. The salad was actually on the verge of being a really dry Gazpacho soup. Little bits of iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, and other minuscule items that even back then my keen 10-year-old eyesight couldn’t identify. The salad dressing was made in one of those glass containers where you drop the Italian seasoning powder in and shake it up with vegetable oil. Partially hydrogenated? Who cared?
The salad sat alongside ham, mashed potatoes, red chili (in lieu of gravy), and the other usual Thanksgiving/Easter suspects. Another dish that was a hit was Mom’s pineapple salad. Made with cream cheese, Cool Whip, crushed pineapple, and topped with shiny maraschino cherries, it was a Dad-favorite. Maybe because it was a dessert disguised (if only by the name) as a “salad” or maybe because it was a once-a-year wonder. I’m always amazed when we stumble upon a gem of a recipe and it’s only made once a year. Perhaps that’s the formula. It always tastes good…but only once a year.
Otherwise, it’s “overuse syndrome”.
Once, I was volunteering at NPR and a talk show host named Rose said she loved my shirt. Thrilled with my outfit choice, I told her my husband gave it to me. “Great taste!” she replied. After that, I wore the heck out of that blouse holding on to the compliment as we do. Until one day one of my students probed, “Is that your favorite shirt ‘cause you wear it ALL the time.” And so it happened, I was immediately struck with “overuse syndrome”. That could be the pineapple salad’s story. Better to pace the good stuff.
I digress…
On Holy Thursday as we loaded up the station wagon and headed to St. Anne’s, Dad would remind us that mass “would be a long one”. Typically, he would do the readings as a lector, and Mom would play the organ. I had a choice to either turn pages for Mom or try to sit still with my sisters for the two hours of feet washing and the Last Supper. Up the stairs, I climbed to the choir loft for my bird’s eye view.
Under the cloudy Good Friday skies, we would attend services at 3:00 pm sharp every year. I still remember the cold, empty altar and solemn sentiment inside St. Anne’s Church. Mom reminded us, “This is the one day we don’t need to genuflect and we don’t call it a mass. It’s a service.” She went on to explain why and I said “Ohhhh” knowing I wouldn’t remember but back then I knew I could ask her anything, anytime I needed to – – that time of life when you think your parents are going to live forever and moments stand still like lighthouses shining bright.
Saturday we buckled in for another “long one” and I really loved that mass.
One Easter weekend, after Holy Saturday Mass, we went to visit my oldest sister at New Mexico State University. That was the year I gave up soda for Lent – even though we never had soda in the house except for Dad’s RC Cola. I remember going out for pizza right after mass and getting the coldest most delicious Shirley Temple ever. It was served in one of those big red plastic cups a staple all pizza joints.
What I learned:
Over the years, my view of Lent became less soda and more sacrifice. In college, a friend of mine and I vowed to say a Rosary together every day. During the long drive to San Diego for spring break we prayed, after going out with friends we prayed and even before watching Shamoo jump through hoops, we prayed the Rosary. Yup. I was wild and crazy then too.
Today, unless kids attend a school starting with the word “Saint” it’s likely they will be in school during Holy Week. Even Good Friday. Because times are different. Holy Week just seemed holier back then. Calendars are filled with games, practices, and activities with church fitting into the gaps.
Like anything else, age readjusts the lens on what matters. What we sacrifice, what we lack, what we share, what we just don’t need. For some, Lent might be about giving up chocolate or serving at a homeless shelter, maybe even blogging.
Parenting isn’t a lark, nor is being a woman, a daughter, or sister.
We pray it will. If I could pass God on a little Post-It about my blog I would say, “Please let my stories help others realize they are not alone in this flash-in-the-pan life you’ve given us. Help me to offer them a little chuckle, a tiny connection, and a chunk of hope when it’s just too much.
Amen.
My humble thanks for reading.
MENTAL EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL WORKOUT: WALK. PRAY. REPEAT.
Beyond Bunnies: A profile
LENTEN REFLECTIONS #39
Are we Easter people living in a Good Friday world? Here’s a profile of a must-read article:
In an interview with NPR titled Beyond Bunnies: The Real Meaning Of Easter Season, Anne Lamott discusses this idea originally penned by author Barbara Johnson. “Well, it’s the most profound holiday in the Christian tradition,” Lamott says. “And I think two things really come to mind. One is something that the great writer Barbara Johnson said, which is that we are Easter people living in a Good Friday world. And I think that every year the world seems more of a Good Friday world. And it’s excruciating, whether it’s Japan, or Libya, or whether its your own best friends and their children who are sick, which is something that makes no sense when you think about a loving God.”
It makes me think Lent has a way of flagging what we overuse, underdo and ignore. It makes us stare sacrifice in the face and see who blinks first.
The interview is profound and telling, reminding all of us we are here in this life for a quick minute. Ash Wednesday kicks us in the rear and reminds us we are indeed – ashes to ashes, dust to dust – it is up to us to grow far beyond ourselves, past our worries and merge onto the road of joy and mercy.
Spiritual Workout: Say these Holy Week prayers, inspired by Anne Lamott:
-
Help me to see my own darkness and quit pretending it doesn’t matter.
-
Help me to know how very loved I am, despite my own protests to the contrary.
-
And help me to understand that running the universe is not my job.
Workout: 25 Burpees, 25 push-ups, repeat
Sacrifice: yours, mine and God’s
40 Lenten Reflections #38: Throwback Thursday
Originally posted on Good Friday, March 2018
The photo above shows very patient fans at their brother’s baseball game…now that’s sacrifice.
Good Friday
With Opening Day for Baseball Season occurring all over the country and Good Friday Services on its heels, I thought about sacrifice. Yours, mine, and Jesus’s.
In that spirit, I asked our kids to think of a sacrifice they have made this past week.
- “Grades,” was the first response. “I did well on one test and sacrificed my grade on another.” My daughter also said that even though her swim meet was fun, she sacrificed study time.
- In baseball, our son said he sacrificed a fly ball for an RBI giving his team the lead in the game.
- Our middle guy said he has sacrificed mountain biking on the trails due to all the rain, which he added, is the right thing to do to keep up the trails.
- As parents, we sacrifice time, workouts, haircuts, and whatever it takes for our children. (I lied about workouts)
- As children (thank you sisters), we sacrifice our established lives, without qualms, to care for our aging parents. After all, they sacrificed more for us than we could ever imagine.
How many times in your life have you stepped away from an opportunity to allow someone else to enjoy a shot at glory? That’s sacrifice. When our boys sit through insanely long swim meets or dance recitals. That’s sacrifice. When our daughter reads the entire Babysitter Club Series through baseball, lacrosse, and soccer games in the scorching heat. That’s sacrifice. Forgoing sleep to finish this blog. That’s sacrifice. You, taking the time to read this. That’s sacrifice. (thank you)
Jesus dying on the cross, that is the Ultimate Sacrifice.
Dig Deep: Let your body rest today, fast if you can, and drink lots of water.
Lenten Challenge: Make a list of sacrifices you have made in the last week.
Notre Dame Cathedral, Bees and Genesis
#37 Lenten Reflections
Today, as I practiced my reading for Holy Saturday Mass, I tried to find small links or connections as one does when they are responsible for delivering the longest reading of a nearly two-hour mass.
It notably starts, “In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth…”. With each line, Genesis serves as a luminary to guide us to the core truths of God. Basically, it lays out the plan of the week. The implementation of each day is impeccable and it’s my job to express it eloquently and “really fast” according to my kids.
While reading, I scooted past the first few days, glanced up at the ceiling and noticed a watermark from a leak. (I’m very distractable) Gee Whiz. So before I got to the 6th day, I investigated, called a plumber, was told: “not to cut the ceiling”. Fine. Read the news and eventually returned to Genesis.
As I perused articles about the iconic Notre Dame, and the tragedy of the fire, I stumbled across a gem of a story. Notre Dame beekeeper waits to learn fate of his 18,000 bees. It turns out that Notre Dame’s roof became home to a hive of bees in 2013. The hive was offered by Nicolas Geant, a beekeeper who already has many hives on rooftops in Paris. At one time the bee’s wax was used to make the candles for the church!
According to the cathedral’s website, St. Ambrose (340-397), bishop of the city of Milan, is the patron saint of beekeepers. The hive was placed as part of a larger effort to protect biodiversity and prevent bee die-off.
Enter Genesis 1 and another connection!
Then God said:
“Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.
Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea,
the birds of the air, and the cattle,
and over all the wild animals
and all the creatures that crawl on the ground.”
Notre Dame is not lost, it is a surviving edifice of crusades, reformations, and war. Her stones are intact, her people strong, and even the creatures that fly, crawl or swim have hope the spire will rise again.
Time to practice the reading and stop worrying about the leak. Perspective, right?
Spiritual workout: Easter and Passover overlap this year. So an early Happy Passover or chag Pesach samech! Passover this year will be from sundown on April 19 to sundown on April 27.
Workout: Plant something beautiful today…a flower bees love!
Fill your Rice Bowl
#36 Lenten Reflections
A little cardboard box sits on our countertop during Lent.
When we have extra change, we drop it in the box. Then on the due date, we match the amount inside as a family and return it to church. It’s a tradition. Another one. I love traditions.
This simple tool is for collecting Lenten alms—and comes with a Lenten calendar that guides families through the 40 days of Lent with activities, reflections, and stories. It is labled CRS Rice Bowl.
CRS stands for Catholic Relief Services the official relief and development agency of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishop’s organization. This handy piggy bank type tool encourages almsgiving to Catholic families during Lent. A curveball in the traditional “give up chocolate” mentality. It is accompanied by Lenten activities, prayers, and my favorite, recipes.
Now I’m not cool enough to call myself a foodie, but I ADORE food. The following recipe is vegetarian and uses clean, simple ingredients.
I hope you try it and love it! Click here for more recipes.
COCONUT DHAL – SRI LANKA
Makes 4 servings
- 2 c red lentils
- 2 T fair trade olive oil
- 1 shallot, chopped
- 1 garlic clove, chopped
- 1 t cinnamon
- Small handful dried or two fresh curry leaves
- 1 green chili, chopped
- 1 t hot curry powder
- 1 t salt
- 1 can coconut milk
- 2 c water
- 1/3 c lemon juice
- Basmati rice
- Cilantro
Rinse lentils. Heat olive oil in a large pan. Sauté shallot and garlic until brown. Add lentils, cinnamon, curry leaves, green chili, curry powder, salt, coconut milk, and water. Bring to boil, then reduce to simmer and cook until lentils are soft, adding more water as needed. Season with lemon juice. Serve with basmati rice and top with cilantro.
Spirtual Workout: Try and say one Rosary every day this week.
Workout: Walk and pray…for yourself for a change!
Find space this Holy Week
#35 Lenten Reflections
Today for the first day of Holy Week, I tackled a fraction of the proverbial spring cleaning. A quick freshening.
A renewal.
No windows or baseboards. No upholstery or carpet shampooing. So what did I do?
I pushed, pulled and lifted. Found dog toys, ping pong balls, and the missing black glove with the phone friendly fingertips.
I rearranged. Found a new angle to watch The Braves. Nudged a chair closer to a sunny window. Picture tops were dusted and curtains washed. Windows opened to listen to Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal as they flit amid the over-sized Leland Cypress holding way too many nests to think about trimming, even though they’re 5 years overdue.
Spring does that, it infuses the chutzpah to refresh, the courage to cradle change. To play Wiffle ball in the back yard and catch all fly balls before they disturb a nest. To lean into the season, each other and ourselves.
Let the spring season and this holy week help you find space. In your minds, your homes and most importantly, your hearts.
Holy Week Challenge: As a family, we are collecting 5 items every day of Holy Week to be donated after Lent. So five items per day. Join us.
Workout challenge: Run or walk and say a Rosary each day this week.
Pray for Notre Dame – a holy place lost at the start of a holy week.
5 things to tell your kids now!
#34 Lenten Reflections
As my children age, they repeatedly tell me what I forget. Maybe it’s reminding, but their tone is more of a “Mamahhhhh!!! Don’t forgehhhht, I have to be at school earlyuhhhh” (teenagers dangle an uhhhh on the end of words for emphasis). I don’t mind the reminders, in fact, most of the time I’ve written things down on one of 3 calendars feeling quite organized yet forgetting to merge the three. So a nudge to remember what’s on deck for the week is welcome.
I’m grateful they can remind me about the logistical stuff, but with three teenagers jockeying school, sports, hormones, and I wish I knew what else — as their mother, I am responsible to help lessen the weight of their mental baggage. That’s on me to remember.
When their moods speak louder than the local tornado alarm, at that moment I smite my forehead and remember the 5 things I have to remind my kids. (Feel free to reword, otherwise, you may be met with the familiar eye rolls…but I believe some of it sinks in, gushy or not):
-
You are each given gifts only you can share with the world.
-
Listen to the little voice in your head when decisions seem impossible to tackle. It will tell you when to take the AP class and when to opt out of being the passenger in a car full of teenagers.
-
We are ALL born hard-wired for struggle, some days are going to be lousy but that’s normal.
-
You are worthy of love.
-
You are enough. You matter.
But just a little reminder to anyone reading this…sit for a minute and read #1-5 a few times. They apply to us too.
Spiritual Workout: It’s Palm Sunday…my favorite kinesthetic mass. What can you make with palms?
Workout: Enjoy a nice bike ride with a friend! If it rains, play a board game, take a break, and do 30 push-ups and 30 squats.
You’re not the only one. Trust me…On Vulnerability Part 2
#33 – Raw reflections during the Lenten Season
It’s time to live unguarded. To fill life’s toolbox with courage, shame, vulnerability and lots of Band-Aids. Will we fall? Yes! Faceplant for sure. But we have to try, have to rise strong and know we can.
“On Vulnerability” Part 2…here is March 2018’s updated version.
When our children were younger, I would accompany them to birthday parties, playdates, practices, and other events and watch, wait, and chat with other parents.
I loved connecting, it was like I would imagine Eharmony for parents. A time to find your tribe of trusted moms and dads, then ever-so-carefully pick a few who relate to your cheeky humor, and pray your kids were in the next room bonding over a juice box.
As our kids aged, I noticed parents would leave these events, and return at the “pick-up time”. I always opted to stay, plopping down on the floor, cherishing my chats with the few other parents who would sit in their comfy cup holding canvas chairs (such a great invention). Sure, sometimes, I was the mom who brought a book/prop which other parents respectfully knew signified – whoever holds the book has just put themselves in a quiet, parental time out, essentially a “please do not disturb sign”.
The kids got a little older and there was another shift. Either I grew more confident (or less patient waiting by myself) and would run while they practiced. As long as I was within a mom’s stone’s throw between them, I felt I could reach them and perform CPR if needed.
Of course, I’m always happy to get in a run, but I missed the parent-share conversations…the dinner plans no one had or the way it’s impossible to leave Costco for under $100. A simple exchange between moms and dads that only the gap of time when our children are engaged with their friends allows.
Then one night, all three of our children had events simultaneously, and a tough moment ensued. Clearly, we had to pick our least favorite child, leave them at their designated practice and accompany the others.
Kidding. Our eldest was the default, and since some nights I was the lone mom hanging out for the two-hour stretch at swim practice anyway, I figured she’d be okay while I drove our son to baseball. As I drove away, of course thinking the worst, it was one of the few times I was grateful our daughter had a phone. Plus, at baseball, there were other helicopter parents like myself to share best practices, a clear bonus.
Our children’s activities, whether we realize it or not, give us a chance to pause and realize we’re not the only ones bouncing around blindly in this parenting pinball game.
While our kids solidify their friendships at a birthday party or discover team sports and aggression are not in their design, we are given the opportunity through conversation to share ourselves with other parents and be VULNERABLE. To open ourselves. To share.
I often feel the weight of parenting lighten as I walk with our children to the car after their practices. It’s a comfort to know I’m not alone. To know even the mom with the “coolest outfits” according to my daughter has quirky insecurities too. Sometimes we just need to know we are not the only parents out there who:
- curse at Siri when she doesn’t listen
- check her children’s texts
- never checks pockets before washing the laundry
- considers cereal dinner
- takes apart the washing machine, finds the penny bonking around, and ends up with extra screws when reassembling
- panic about working after 15 years of staying home with the kids
- hate texting
- vacuum too much
- never knows what’s for dinner
- pray selfishly
- stays up way too late because knowing everyone is safe and asleep brings calm to a crazy day
- wipes the tears from our children’s eyes, and our own when their hearts are broken
- pray our children will find their best friend
- arrives late to pick up their child at school/practice/Bible Study
- delivers their child’s forgotten homework to school
- buys bras at Costco (one size fits most)
- yells at our children and regrets it profoundly seconds after
- color the gray roots at home out of a box bought from the sale table at the supermarket
- cling to their children – as someone who is way too young dies in a car accident, from a health complication, or God forbid — inside their school.
Allowing ourselves to be transparent, and invest in relationships will only make us better parents. It takes pluck to be vulnerable, but there is courage in the imperfect, strength in sharing, and certainty in the uncertain.
Dig Deep: Time your run, then challenge yourself to do the same run faster tomorrow.
Lenten Challenge: “Give feet to your faith”. Feed the hungry, pray for the sick, and share your grace with everyone who crosses your path.
On Vulnerability…part 1
LENTEN REFLECTIONS #32
THROWBACK THURSDAY – This is a two-part post on vulnerability. I hate vulnerability because it exposes us, shows our imperfections, and breaks down the walls that keep us in our comfortable place and I love vulnerability because it reminds me to breathe through the tangled times, to say I love you first and to have the courage to tell our story.
Part 1 (Originally posted March 2018):
“Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Risk being unliked.” – Anne Lamott
I’ve always had a passion for writing. At nine, I filled the lines of my diary with trips to Disney and life-changing walks home from school. In middle and high school, I packed numerous pages with poems. During and after college, I chronicled my travels to placid beaches in Mexico and being witness to newborns in India gently held over the smoke of hot coals to promote circulation. Additionally, 15 years ago, when the pink line on the little white stick silently announced motherhood was on deck in my life, I slid my mouse over the word “File”, clicked “New Document”, and 16 years later I pore over hundreds of records of family life — the wild and the wicked.
When the idea of blogging was planted in my head, I loved the thought, but as I typed my stories, the mere inclination of becoming transparent with the world (or my three followers- thanks mom, dad, and hubby), fear, and apprehension enveloped me. I asked myself and continue to ask: Why should I share my thoughts? What if I offend or hurt someone inadvertently? Who would want to hear what I have to say? Frankly, I can be a little snarky. Uh oh, people will hate me!
Putting your self “out there” is scary. It’s unsettling. It’s a risk…and somehow, concurrently, it is transforming, cathartic, beautiful, and emancipating.
I will continue my thoughts on vulnerability in Part 2 because my son just announced: “It’s 11:11! Make a wish.”
So here’s mine: to serve, share, and press PUBLISH with confidence.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage,” – Brené Brown in Rising Strong.
Dig Deep: After your next run do a 25 rep challenge: 25 – squats, 25 – push-ups, 25 – sit-ups – REPEAT 3 TIMES!
LENTEN CHALLENGE: Say one decade of the Rosary today.
runonmom.com 