Lenten Reflections #16
March 6, 2026
Our kids are all facing decisions right now. Jobs after college, law schools, distant travel teams.
Big 20-something choices – the kind of decisions that will lead them to the country or city, a job they love or one with financial security; exposure to a new area in the country or not.
Each choice will shape their experiences, who they are, and who we will become.
Thinking back, when the kids were younger, I decided on the small stuff – Pampers or Costco brand diapers, mashed peas or sweet potatoes for lunch—Naptime books: Good Night Moon or Bears on Wheels.
As they got older, each would choose two books before bed to read. Every night. Before school, they matched their plaid shorts with striped t-shirts, and none were the wiser. It was THEIR choice. They were at the helm of the small choices as the drawers squeaked open and closed.
Then we moved to the either-or choices: library or bookstore, playground or zoo? School lunch or make your own. (They always made their own) Each choice given to them to hold and handle.
Bigger kids = bigger choices
Soccer or mountain biking? AP or Honors? Clarinet or cello? Baseball or lacrosse? All theirs to make.
Older kids = life choices = THEIR CHOICES
What I learned:
Hard choices are real choices. The reasons we make them define who we are, and where our agency lies.
We can make choices because we know what we care about, what matters to us, and how we will interact in the world with the decision.
Lucretia
In the space of hard choices we have the power to create reasons for ourselves to become the distinctive people that we are. And that’s why hard choices are not a curse, but a godsend. – Ruth Chang, Philosopher
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