40 Reflections: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season
Mom preschool. Home. Puzzles. Play dough, Picnics. Reading time Go, Dog. Go! one more time...Pleeease... Naps. Exercise. Stepping on legos and stray cheerios that crumble into 300 pieces. Room mom. PTA. Plan, organize, meet moms. Any moms. Wait. Are they rowing the boat with you? Swap stories. Throw their stories at the wall and see if they stick. Four-year-old ballet classes. Tears. Why am I the only mom inside the studio wagging my legs in the butterfly motion next to pink clad toddler grads? She's nervous. No preschool. I crushed her social life and now dance career.
School years. Cafeteria years. Bus years…who will she sit with? Will she talk about recess? Whisper or yell? Thank the bus driver?
Middle School mystery. Wonder or fear? Orchestra or band? Tennis or swim? Or, Gasp. Nothing. Lunchtime friends?
Press on sweet girl, the bandaid pulls off quickly.
High school. AP classes. Not Econ. School bus for one more year. Summer jobs and save money. She’ll drive old, new, big, small…maybe not a van.
Hang up the tutu, grab the swim goggles. Compete. Compete. Compete.
College looms. What will sustain her? Friendships? Reading? Connections?
What will her version of life be on and offline? Will she recycle mean words, turn them inside out until they are kind and true? Will she sit in the quiet of the fuzzy boundary time in the early morning and listen to her breathing and her heartbeat?
During her late-night studying will she slip into a softer headspace and realize she’s writing her own story and she gets to choose her own ending?