Lenten Reflections #16
CBS News had a story about a girls’ high school basketball coach in Northville, NY this evening. During their last game, the coach who appeared angry at the time, reached out and yanked the ponytail of one of his best players who was visibly sad about their loss. Following this he appeared “to berate her following an emotional loss” at which point another teammate stood up to the coach, in support of the girl.
The school district fired the coach. The regretful coach said he apologized and wished he had those moments to do over again.
I thought about this horrible situation and wondered why we have knee-jerk reactions like the NY coach did, and how we can control our responses. Here are five tips on how to react without a ponytail tug:
- Know your triggers – listen to your emotions and know what makes you nuts
- Don’t be too judgy – once we make judgments, these become permanent triggers – uh oh
- Understand your emotions – know yourself, will you fight, flee, or freeze?
- Avoid emotion suppression – this is super unhealthy…embrace your feelings
- Make plans NOT TO REACT – be positive and respond with good intentions and respect
What I learned:
As I read further about this NY coach, I discovered his son was also a girls’ basketball coach, the player who defended her teammate was the coach’s great-niece, his wife had died from cancer the previous season, and the reason he started coaching again after his retirement was that his wife thought it would be good to keep him occupied during her illness.
Was he wrong? Yes. Did his emotions dictate his reactions? Yes. Did he regret it? Yes. Have we all been in similar situations? Yes.
Does he get a do-over? Nope.
Did the girl deserve it? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Emotions are drivers to our reactions. My initial reaction to reading this story was anger which turned to saddness and then compassion. I’ll pray for all of them.
Here’s to Another Good Day, especially since the Pope was released from the hospital.
Thanks for joining me,
Lucretia
runonmom.com 