Tag: mental-health

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

1st World Problems? Here are mine

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #28

We all have them. These things we call problems. Many are so real and awful – depression or anxiety, bad hearts, poor mental health or God forbid, cancer. These are the things that give us pause and make us realize how irrational our little issues are.

These first-world problems creep in and hijack our days with “horrible” things like the the Wifi being too slow, or the gym is too busy. Maybe we have too many clothes and not enough hangers, or it’s way too hard to reach what’s in the back of the fridge because there’s so much food up front. The frustration is real, but so is the irrationality of it all.

I thought I’d share my latest 1st World problems with you:

1st World Problem #1 – I forgot to do Wordle

Midnight struck, and I sighed deeply. Darn it, Wordle. I missed you again.

I almost complained, but didn’t because, well, it’s Wordle.

1st World Problem #2 – My computer isn’t working

My computer had crazy, dizzying lines going up and down the screen a few days ago. After unsuccessfully troubleshooting, I adjusted my eyes and continued working. Today I opened it and a black screen stared back at me. It had had enough.

I almost complained, but then thought -I have a computer, and the means to fix it, what a luxury.

1st World Problem #3 – Woke up late

I woke up disappointed I didn’t get up earlier, and may or may not have blamed it on my dear husband, who was up early reading. Of course, it was my fault, but it’s so much easier to blame the ones we love the most.

I almost complained (more), but thought, gee whiz, I was lucky enough to wake up and I have a husband who understands me enough to know I’m a little nuts.

1st World Problem #4 – long security lines at the airport

I’ll be traveling soon to take care of my parents, and as we know, the lines for security are longer than those for Space Mountain, so I was planning my arrival time to be about four hours before the flight, which is a lot of time to wait.

I almost complained, but then I thought of all the TSA workers who are NOT getting paid, not one cent. YET they still show up. Also! Also, how lucky am I that my parents are still around to visit and care for?

1st World Problem #5 – I couldn’t find my water bottle at work

I love water. I’d rather drink water than anything else. So when I couldn’t find my water bottle, I got a little cranky, even though I passed three different water fountains as I searched.

I almost complained (out loud), but thought about how ridiculous I was being. I mean, there are people around the world who have no access to water, or who walk miles to fill a bucket and carry it home. Meanwhile, we have water filters and water bottles, and swimming pools with thousands of gallons of water.

1st World Problem #6 – We have diseased plants

We placed a few plants in the garage for the winter months. They looked unhappy with their burnt edges, root rot, and just looked bad.

I almost complained, but I thought about the luxury and benefits of having plants. Oxygen, joy, beauty.

What I learned:

Did we hear any complaining from Jesus when he was lugging that cross around, falling down, getting back up, and then I mean, the nails? The NAILS.

Bottom line: Count your blessings. Look around you, they are right in front of you, and their hearts are beating.

Thanks for joining me.

I’m so glad you’re here,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Do you have MENTAL clutter? Here’s what to do…

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #25

Back in the 90s, I took a photography class at the Smithsonian Institute in DC. We learned about aperture, shutter speed, and focal length, and worked in the darkroom, where I watched my underexposed photos turn into dark, indistinguishable images. We learned to use negatives in printing and practiced the rule of thirds, teaching us to think about composition rather than just pointing at the subject. I soaked in all the knowledge and went home each week thrilled to capture the world with my Canon AE-1 35mm.

Our first homework assignment was to make a pinhole camera to teach us the basics of photography and how light travels in straight lines to form inverted, real images. I followed the instructions carefully, as the camera only needed: a box, a hole, and light to produce a photo.

I remember fishing out my Asics Kayano shoebox — my favorite running shoes — from under the bed, spraying it with black paint inside and out, and using a small pin from my sewing box to make a tiny hole to let the light in. I marveled at the simplicity of it all, wondering how an image could truly be captured through such a tiny stream of light. There was no clutter, no rushing—just find your image and be patient. I carefully set the camera on the slightly rusty roof of my 1986 Pontiac Sunbird, chose my shot, and waited.

This simple act of minimizing the tools used to capture an image created space for me to take a more thoughtful approach to the medium. Some photos turned out better than others, but with fewer choices to make (set it and wait), the process seemed to bring more clarity and intentionality.

WHAT’S THE CONNECTION?

My story of the pinhole camera came up last week when I was doing 317 things at once (not well). My brain was functioning more like today’s digital cameras on burst mode, spitting out 20-40 full-resolution photos per minute.

ALL THAT CLUTTER!

Mental clutter is debilitating, leaving us unfocused, unproductive, and exhausted.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how many of us fill our days to the brim. We say yes to jobs we truly know we don’t have time for, yet saying “no” seems harder than the work itself. Cars become offices. We drive and text, eat, make appointments, and take calls. Kids are rushed from school to soccer practice to piano lessons, and we run or exercise with the constant drone of something in our ears.

Inside that clutter living in our heads, some subsets follow: kitchen clutter, drawer clutter, car clutter, food clutter, closet clutter, clothes clutter, and, and, and…

FIX IT!

In my research on mental clutter, I found that overcommitment and muddled minds lead to negativity and exhaustion.

So, to combat the mental clutter, I am listing five user-friendly ways to declutter your mind:

  1. Clean and clear your physical space – purge and spruce up! Don’t just shove the things you don’t use into the attic, basement, or a closet. Get rid of it. Someone, somewhere, needs it more than your attic.
  2. Set your priorities – know what your values are and how your goals for the day, month, or year matter. Make a list and stay focused.
  3. Reject regret – Focus on right now, this moment. Don’t dwell on yesterday; let go and move on. Tomorrow is waiting patiently.
  4. Control your digital diet – My friend’s son canceled his Xfinity account the other day, and as he was barraged with questions about why and whether he should try another package, maybe add his cell phone to the plan to get the bundle deal, he responded by saying, “I am replacing Xfinity with books. Lots and lots of books.” The Customer Service Agent said, “I love books too, let’s get this canceled.”
  5. Pray, meditate, worship, or just breathe – you know why. It is your truth.

WHAT I LEARNED:

Decluttering your mind begins with the same concepts as designing a pinhole camera. Start with simplicity and intention, then be patient with yourself; we, too, have long exposure times.

Thanks for joining me.

I’m so glad you’re here,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Create your own joy

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #22

Every day, I see kids shine, as children do.

Today, in particular, I saw two first-grade girls riding tricycles slowly around the playground, chatting like senior citizens on a Sunday drive. Then, a group of boys dribbled a soccer ball past them, heading toward the goal and yelling at each other to pass and shoot. Finally, I glanced over to a corner of the playground and saw a few girls digging in the dirt, laughing. To all of these kids, it was just another recess, but to me, it was extraordinary to watch the simplicity of how they manifested their happiness.

With my stellar computing skills, I broke it down to a basic equation:

FRIENDSHIP + PLAY = JOY

What I learned…AND Quotes on joy–

So, if we stick to the simple things in life like connections, kindness, time, and play, we will be that much closer to the joy we all seek. Better head out to the playground.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”
-The Buddha (Dhammapada)

“Sadly, many of the things that undermine our joy and happiness we create ourselves. Often it comes from the negative tendencies of the mind, emotional reactivity, or from our inability to appreciate and utilize the resources that exist within us. The suffering from a natural disaster we cannot control, but the suffering from our daily disasters we can. We create most of our suffering, so it should be logical that we also have the ability to create more joy. It simply depends on the attitudes, the perspectives, and the reactions we bring to situations and to our relationships with other people.”  –Dalai Lama

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Do we get do-overs for our bad reactions?

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #16

CBS News had a story about a girls’ high school basketball coach in Northville, NY this evening. During their last game, the coach who appeared angry at the time, reached out and yanked the ponytail of one of his best players who was visibly sad about their loss. Following this he appeared “to berate her following an emotional loss” at which point another teammate stood up to the coach, in support of the girl.

The school district fired the coach. The regretful coach said he apologized and wished he had those moments to do over again.

I thought about this horrible situation and wondered why we have knee-jerk reactions like the NY coach did, and how we can control our responses. Here are five tips on how to react without a ponytail tug:

  1. Know your triggers – listen to your emotions and know what makes you nuts
  2. Don’t be too judgy – once we make judgments, these become permanent triggers – uh oh
  3. Understand your emotions – know yourself, will you fight, flee, or freeze?
  4. Avoid emotion suppression – this is super unhealthy…embrace your feelings
  5. Make plans NOT TO REACT – be positive and respond with good intentions and respect

What I learned:

As I read further about this NY coach, I discovered his son was also a girls’ basketball coach, the player who defended her teammate was the coach’s great-niece, his wife had died from cancer the previous season, and the reason he started coaching again after his retirement was that his wife thought it would be good to keep him occupied during her illness.

Was he wrong? Yes. Did his emotions dictate his reactions? Yes. Did he regret it? Yes. Have we all been in similar situations? Yes.

Does he get a do-over? Nope.

Did the girl deserve it? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Emotions are drivers to our reactions. My initial reaction to reading this story was anger which turned to saddness and then compassion. I’ll pray for all of them.

Here’s to Another Good Day, especially since the Pope was released from the hospital.

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

What lies under our piles of worry?

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

(Spoiler Alert: It’s Love)

40 Reflections – #11:  40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

Lately, I’ve been worrying about stuff. Mom stuff, kid stuff, work stuff, parent stuff. As a cock-eyed optimist, I try to focus on only worrying about 8-10 things at once. It’s not easy when my mind spins like a kid on a Ferris wheel who just ate 3 funnel cakes. A little joyful a little nauseous. I worry about retirement, Medicaid, cholesterol, my parents, taxes, heaven, hell, you name it. A new worry is what if it’s my time to go and God is in a cranky mood and brings up that trigonometry test I may or may not have cheated on and still got a C?

At work, first graders are constantly worried about equal turns, cheating, and name-calling and think if they holler “It’s not fair!” all things will go their way. Maybe if we voiced our qualms like kids and yelled our fears into a megaphone the world would nod aggressively in agreement, give a thumbs up, and you’ll say “Aha! I knew I wasn’t alone!”

What I learned:

Worries are valid, but after all the worrying, you move forward, listen to John Lennon sing about everything being okay in the end, take one step, then another, and breathe. You slow down.

You find that when the wall of worry falls brick by brick, underneath it all sat love waiting patiently…and you saved it from being smothered.

Ending with a favorite…

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own
interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood
over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but
rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8a

Here’s to Another Good Day.

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia