Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Breaking Bread Quietly

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #35

On my flight home from Albuquerque yesterday, the security line was a breeze, the piñon coffee was freshly brewed, and all of the middle seats were empty. Ahhh…space. I nestled into 30C, sitting crisscross applesauce, computer propped on my lap. When my window seatmate arrived, he smiled broadly, gave me a quiet polite hello with a slight bow, and slid into his seat. He had a calm about him, like sitting beside a young Gandhi in an Atlanta Braves sweatshirt and Khakis. I thought back to my time in India when connections with others always involved family, friends, and sharing food. As the plane accelerated, I rummaged through my bag for something to share and came up with gum. Gum! Given my limited inventory, I offered some to my neighbor, and he gratefully declined.

We continued on, and I peeked out a sliver of the window as we bounced through the mountains.

About an hour in, he pulled out his dinner, a fragrant, considerable-sized meal. He kindly offered me some, and I, too, gratefully declined. The flight continued, the crew passed out coffee, and I offered him some cookies, which he gladly accepted.

A connection.

What I learned:

Make simple connections – with food, a hug, a smile, a glass of water, a listening ear, or maybe just by sitting next to someone quietly.

Each day, with one heart, they regularly went to the Temple but met in their houses for the breaking of bread; they shared their food gladly and generously…
-Acts of Apostles, Chapter 2

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Holy Week Reflections

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

LENTEN REFLECTIONS #34

As Holy Week begins, I’m reminded of how things have changed over the years. Growing up, Holy Week was a quiet time.

PREP:

Typically, we would have Thursday and Friday off from school and prep the menu for Easter Sunday, including ham, mashed potatoes, red chili (instead of gravy), and the other usual Thanksgiving/Easter suspects. Also, Mom’s pineapple salad made with cream cheese, Cool Whip, and crushed pineapple and topped with shiny maraschino cherries was a Dad-favorite. Aunt Eugenia’s finely chopped salad always made the list too – she was the aunt who rode motorcycles, brought her bird “Bonita” to visit, and played the accordion for Sunday mass. I’ve been told I have the same sharp-slanted nose as her.

HOLY THURSDAY

On Holy Thursday, as we loaded up the station wagon and headed to St. Anne’s, Dad would remind us that mass “would be a long one”. Typically, he would do the readings as a lector, and Mom would play the organ. I had a choice to either turn pages for Mom or try to sit still with my sisters for the two hours of feet washing and the Last Supper. Up the stairs, I climbed to the choir loft for my bird’s eye view.

GOOD FRIDAY

Under the cloudy Good Friday skies, we would attend services at 3:00 pm sharp every year. I still remember the cold, empty altar and solemn sentiment inside St. Anne’s Church. Mom reminded us, “This is the one day we don’t need to genuflect, and we don’t call it a mass. It’s a service.” She went on to explain why, and I said, “Ohhhh,” knowing I really wasn’t paying attention.

But back then, I knew I could ask her anything, anytime I needed to – that time of life when you think your parents are going to live forever and moments stand still like lighthouses shining bright.

HOLY SATURDAY, we buckled in for another “long one,” and I loved that mass. One Easter weekend, after Holy Saturday Mass, we visited my oldest sister at New Mexico State University. That was the year I gave up soda for Lent – even though we never had soda in the house except for Dad’s RC Cola. I remember going out for pizza right after mass and getting the coldest, most delicious Shirley Temple ever. It was served in one of those big red plastic cups with a fat straw. One of my favorite Holy Saturdays on record.

What I learned:

Over the years, my view of Lent became less soda and more sacrifice. In college, a friend of mine and I vowed to say a Rosary together every day. During the long drive to San Diego for spring break, we prayed, after going out with friends we prayed, and even before watching Shamoo jump through hoops, we prayed the Rosary. Yup. I was wild and crazy then, too.

Today, unless kids attend a school starting with the word “Saint,” it’s likely they will be in school during Holy Week. Even Good Friday. Because times are different. Holy Week just seemed holier back then. Calendars are filled with games, practices, and activities, with church fitting into the gaps. Like anything else, age readjusts the lens on what matters.

Lent is about sacrifice and love – giving the homeless water, really listening to a friend, praying for peace in our world, and realizing we all truly need each other.

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Palm Sunday and First Holy Communion

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #33

Every week after church, Dad asks if our church fills up. “It’s pretty full, Dad, but we have fewer churches here in Marietta,” I say every week. In fact, my hometown of Albuquerque has 32 parishes for the 37% of Catholics in the city. Meanwhile, in Marietta, Ga…there is a grand total of 4 Catholic churches to accommodate our 1% of Catholics. I cannot speak to the amount of practicing Catholics, but even for the Christmas-Easter crew, there are plenty of options to kneel and say an Ave or two.

Mom and Dad attend the 4:30 pm mass on Saturday evenings. Arriving late to church is very stressful for Mom, and arriving early to church is unheard of for Dad. I decided to choose my battles today and leave early (for mom) and drive slooooowly to church. Dad, whose driving speed from ages 14-86 could only be described as manic, noted my speed and said with a tinge of disappointment in his voice, “Wow, you really follow the speed limit.”

Cars zoomed past, and as we approached an intersection, we passed a dry, grassy field on fire, uncontained and spreading toward the road. We (Siri) called 911, and the fire department said they were on their way. Mom asked for the time, and I reassured her that we had 30 minutes to complete an 8-minute drive. As the firetruck passed, we finally pulled into a packed parking lot. I carefully (and slowly) squeezed our Honda between a huge SUV and a flashy Impala lowrider with gold rims.

When we opened the door to the Sanctuary, we were surprised to see the pews filling quickly. Not only was it Palm Sunday, but it was also First Communion for 17 kids. Concerned that Mom and Dad would get tired and hungry, I proactively gave Mom a mint, which calmed her, then leaned over and whispered to Dad that I bet God would let us leave early since we showed up for the rosary ahead of mass. Unrattled, they both sat patiently and sang along to the Spanish and English hymns, except when Mom plugged her ears because the guitar was just “too loud”.

First Holy Communion is a family event. This evening, pews were filled with extended families. Palms were craftily folded into crosses, babies were passed from row to row, and children were dressed with care – bows in place, tiny neckties straightened. The communicants all sat in the first two rows with pressed suits and snow-white dresses. Flowers dotted the girls’ hair, and boys stood proudly in their shined shoes. One by one, they walked, leading with their prayer hands as they received their First Holy Communion. Their parents and siblings beamed because it was a big deal. This sacrament truly is tremendous. As Catholics, we know that the Holy Eucharist is the origin of our faith. Pope Francis has called it the “Sacrament of Love”. He says, “The Eucharist is at the heart of ‘Christian initiation’, together with Baptism and Confirmation, and it constitutes the source of the Church’s life itself. From this Sacrament of love, in fact, flows every authentic journey of faith, of communion, and of witness.”

Pope Francis knows what he’s talking about. He’s a big deal.

What I learned:

I reminisced about our church in Marietta. Every Saturday before the final prayer, two elderly men meet the deacon at the foot of the altar, bow their heads, and receive a blessing and a pyx with care. A pyx is a handheld tabernacle that holds the Eucharist to provide spiritual nourishment for the homebound. Each week, I try to envision their situations, marvel at their kindness, and pray for their ongoing strength and hope.

Then I thought of every little lovely wavy-haired child whose dark eyes glistened after receiving the “Sacrament of Love”. I pray that every one of them will encounter extraordinary joy, grace, mercy, thanksgiving and communion on this side of eternity.

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

10 tips for taking care of our aging parents

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #32

Caregiving is both a blessing and a challenge. Between my sisters and me, we manage our parents’ care. I’ve mentioned before that I live the furthest away, so I carry less of the load. Recently, I have been coming more on weekends to help out and have learned that just as I’m preparing to leave, I finally grasp the tips and tricks that make the day easier.

Things like:

  1. Be direct – Answer questions and don’t overexplain: the more complex the answer, the more confusion ensues.
  2. Give hope – Say yes to requests and ideas…if Mom thinks she’s going to recover the chairs in the kitchen, say YES, we can go to the fabric store.
  3. Stay calm – Calm begets calm
  4. Emphathize – Amid the moans and groans from aging and exhaustion from working outside, grab the heating pad, warm some tea, and use Aspercreme.
  5. Nourish – Never underestimate the power of Cheerios any time of day for Mom and a peanut butter sandwich for Dad.
  6. Go outside – Take a walk, sit in the shade, look up at the sky, and take notice.
  7. Laugh – Mom is amazing at laughing at herself, even if she puts her shirt on backwards or, this morning, her bra. She says, “You could write a story about this and call it Idiot’s Delight.”
  8. Let them – let them do as much as they can on their own. Independence is priceless.
  9. Love them – Remember you are still their child,d and they need your love even more than they need you to help put in their partials (teeth). Although both are very important.
  10. Listen – You’ve heard the stories a million times; let them tell it again.

What I learned:

I’m lucky to have my parents and my sisters, and I pray I have the same positivity as I grow older, even if I put my bra on backward someday.

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

The blank page…

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

40 Reflections #31: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

Tonight is one of those nights when I stare at a blank page. No clue what to write. Guess I should have planned rather than gone organic. Let’s see…

Yesterday, I watched a woodpecker balance upside down in a very acrobatic foraging pose, using its tail feathers like a tripod and clinging effortlessly to peck the heck out of the nuts and seeds we had out. I mean, even this guy went in with a plan, and I’m sitting here with a blank page!

I arrived at the airport this early morning, thankfully with lots of time before my flight, as security was packed. I felt like I won the lottery when my bag did not get flagged, and I could lace up my shoes and head to gate A19.

As I settled in my aisle seat, my window neighbor had arrived. He was an elderly gentleman with only his Sudoku book and a pencil capped with a red eraser marking his last page.

“Sudoku will pass the time”, he said.

He had zero electronic devices to set on airplane mode, no earphones taken from the flight attendant to plug in and watch whatever Delta is offering on the screens dotting the seatbacks. Instead, he stared out the window like we used to, watching luggage load and busy workers shuffle around the tarmac.

We had the loveliest conversation. Turns out he’s a motorhome guy with fascinating stories. Which I will share…soon!

I arrived at my childhood home to help take care of my parents. Mom recognized me (thank you Jesus), and Dad asked if the flight was full as he had my last 1,583 flights prior. Ahhhh…normalcy.

Now, my blank page is full, and so is my heart. More tomorrow.

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Bedtime + Kids = so many questions

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

40 Reflections – #30: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

It is quiet at home tonight. Justin and the dogs are asleep, the Braves are on TV, and I thought back to the memorable, noisy nights when the kids were home. I looked back on a few older pieces I wrote and found this recollection of our unforgettable nightly routine:

I had a post started for today, but I was redirected physically and mentally toward what makes every day complete: my children.

Bedtime in our home has become a sacred time. It is when the day’s silly moments, most profound questions, and emotional tribulations bubble up. And I am always ready to listen.

When the kids were younger, there were questions following prayers. I would stand in the hallway like a professor at a podium and take all inquiries: “What are we doing tomorrow? Will it be cold? Should we play soccer or baseball first? When does the pool open? Can we make waffles in the morning?”

Then, there were the medical mysteries. Most days, our kids stay healthy, aside from a few ‘must-have’ Band Aids. But at bedtime — BAM! The ailments roll in after the final Amen. “My arm/leg/knee/head/elbow hurts!”

Their questions vary: “Who will I eat lunch with on the first day of school? Will the teacher understand if I didn’t annotate my bibliography? Why is there so much drama with girls? Will we travel for spring break? Can you pick me up early from school? Pleeeease?”

Then the recent doozies: “Why are kids being shot in their schools? Will that happen to us? Will I get in trouble if I walk out and protest against gun violence?” And…Sometimes, they simply give you the bitter truth and say, “I’m scared”.

What I learned:

I consider bedtime my prime listening opportunity because, quite frankly, I don’t have answers. Sure, I can console after a messy friendship issue and confirm the weather will be warm enough for shorts. However, when the questions are beyond comprehension, I kneel by their bedside one more time, and we say an extra prayer for lives lost, families broken, and those kids in the world who feel so terribly alone.

What I continue to learn:

Always take the time to listen to your children and those you love. They are reaching out for a reason.

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Planting Patience

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #29

Yesterday, I asked a kindergarten class to share one highlight of their weekend. As we went around the circle, there were stories about lost teeth, the new Minecraft movie, sleepovers, lacrosse games won, and soccer goals missed.

When it was Gigi’s turn, she sat up a little higher on her knees. Her pensive, smiling blue eyes squinted as she announced loudly, “I planted seeds in my garden! Peas, tomatoes, lettuce, green beans, and peppers…but we need to wait patiently before they grow.” Gigi is five, and she understands patience.

Patience is a lost art. Like writing letters. Or phone calls. Or cursive.

When I grew up, patience meant waiting in line for confession every Saturday, the Albuquerque Journal in the morning, or Ted Koppel on the evening news. Patience was waiting for a cassette to rewind so you could listen to your favorite song again and for a TV special like “Charlie Brown’s Christmas” to air every 365 days. Patience was shaking a Polaroid picture to see the magic it brought.

According to Pamela Davis-Kean, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan by age 6 or 7, kids begin understanding the concept of patience as they think about their own behavior and the consequences of their behavior.

Kids aren’t born with patience. It’s a quality they develop over time.

“We live in a social world, and we can’t have everything we want when we want it — that’s where patience and self-control come in,” says Pamela Cole, a professor of psychology and human development at Penn State. “The years between toddlerhood and kindergarten are critical for developing patience.”

So when I heard Gigi say she needed to wait for the seeds to grow, I felt grateful. Grateful for forbearance from a five-year-old and especially grateful for a renaissance of the ability to wait.

What I learned:

Sometimes, five-year-olds are more brilliant and cognizant of the world around them than the rest of us.

Go plant your garden!

“The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Be patient and stay the course.” —Fabienne Fredrickson

Here’s to Another Good Day.

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

8 Quotes about Renewal and Springtime

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #28

Some days, I just need to read words from the wise. Today was one of them. So, I compiled a few to share with you. A reminder that although worry hangs over us like a pall, knowing that tomorrow will bring us renewed life is the power we need to move forward.

  1. “Through your deepest wound, Light enters.” – Rumi
  2. “There can be no renewal of our relationship with nature without a renewal of humanity itself.” — Pope Francis
  3. “There is a cleansing from winter darkness the moment we sink our fingers into spring’s fresh earth.” — Toni Sorenson
  4. “There is in us an instinct for newness, for renewal, for a liberation of creative power. We seek to awaken in ourselves a force which really changes our lives from within. And yet the same instinct tells us that this change is a recovery of that which is deepest, most original, most personal in ourselves. To be born again is not to become somebody else, but to become ourselves.” — Thomas Merton
  5. “One’s doing well if age improves even slightly one’s capacity to hold on to that vital truism: ‘This too shall pass.’” – Alain de Botton
  6. “Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I’ll rise.” – Maya Angelou
  7. “I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.” – Jack London
  8. “In the study of the Way, each day something is dropped. Less and less do you have to force things, until finally, you arrive at the place of non-action, where nothing is forced, and nothing remains undone.” – Lao Tzu

What I learned:

Words are transformative.

Here’s to Another Good Day.

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

What about the Goldfish?

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

40 Reflections #27: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

FLASHBACK STORY…A FAVORITE!

The multitude of miles on the road of motherhood can be bumpy, yet always fulfilling.

As parents, we navigate from diapers to diaries- pacifiers to car keys. Personally, I’ve been blessed to be home with our children throughout their childhood.

A Stay-At-Home-Mom. A title I relish.

Sure, once they are all in college, I’ll work until I’m 95, but right now, I’m home, and isn’t that worth the same as a large 401K?

(Please keep answers to yourselves).

Given the fact our Irish Triplets will be attending college (God-willing) back to back, I have decided to substitute teach (and work other part-time jobs) as much as possible to continue saving. So, I’ve been working nearly every day.

Today, I was offered a long-term substitute position in the Pre-K Special Needs Room. Having worked in this room for years, I knew accepting the position was the right thing to do. Primarily to serve the students but also to support the teachers who work insanely hard in a room where each child’s mind resides on the spectrum.

As I was mulling over the new work schedule with our 15-year-old daughter, she sweetly stated,

“Well, don’t forget about us!”

My heart stumbled on itself. Touched, I uttered, “Awe, you guys miss me when I’m working?”

“Sure.” My daughter assured me. “But we have no food.”

“What?” I questioned.

“REALLY, we have NO FOOD.” 

Visualizing the grocery inventory in my mind, I was certain we had plenty of food for them to make their breakfasts and lunches. So I probed further, “What do we need?”

“Well, you know, Goldfish and Cheez-Its!”

Ah-ha! That’s what they needed me for. I was the supplier of high-carb snack foods for their lunches! It all makes sense now. I asked her to add the items to the Costco list, and I would make my way there Monday.

What I learned:

Whether our children admit missing me or not, I will always supply them with lunch snacks (until I crack the code for those yummy crackers and make my own), drive them wherever they need to go (and take all of their friends), and listen to their stories even if it’s waaay past their bedtime.

Being a mom is indeed the ultimate job for me.

Here’s to Another Good Day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

“Be the reason!”

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Lenten Reflections #26

First graders’ energy levels skyrocket on Fridays. So today, for the final five minutes of Spanish class, I decided the most logical (?) plan was to play the class’s favorite game and meet them where they were…As we set up our circle, the concept of personal space was immediately squelched, and rowdiness was rampant. Bad logic.

I then heard the strong voice of Caroline bellow through the racket,

“Be the reason we play the game and not the reason we don’t!”

Everyone stopped. Caroline was impressed by the reaction of her classmates, stood a little taller and repeated her mantra, this time a little louder:

“Be the reason we play the game and not the reason we don’t!”

Order was restored, and the game continued.

I could have dinged every bell, used every call and response, flicked every light, and threatened to cancel Halloween, but there is no way I would have received the same reaction Caroline did.

The calm returned, we were able to play three rounds of the game.

After Caroline’s pep talk, they were all the REASON WE PLAYED THE GAME.

What I learned:

Sometimes, the words of a peer are more powerful than anything else. Caroline’s “Be the reason” call to action was grounds for goodness and showed we can each make a difference; she certainly did!

Here’s to another good day!

Thanks for joining me,

Lucretia