40 Reflections: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

No. 5

Every Monday during Lent I will honor the Mary’s in my life, and there are many. There’s just something about Mary that brings my life spiritual solace.

The Virgin Mary

In the Bible, the angel Gabriel guides Mary into motherhood like an air traffic controller…landing her the role of the Mother of Jesus. Then life got busy. There were feast days, appearances, suffering, and intercessions, you know, regular mom stuff.

At church on Sundays when our kids were young, we’d sit by the choir during mass. It was loud enough to drown out whining, the kids were fascinated with the instruments and if there was a breakdown it was easy to slip out the back door. During mass, I would glance at the opposite side of the church where families sat calmly with their children. What was it about that side?

Then one day we found ourselves amid the “right-side” pew dwellers. It was a busy mass and an insistent usher herded us over before I could church whisper, “We’ll stand, really.”

Then I saw Mary.

Standing there with her hand waving me in, like she was offering me a bottle of water and a comfy chair to rest my soul. So we sat next to Mary, amid the quiet group and stared back at the choir families. And when the matchbox cars started flying or everyone had to go to the bathroom, I’d glance up, and there she was, Mary…no longer in my blind spot, confirming all was well.

Today I listened and sang along to the song “Let it Be” while my mom and I made tortillas. The Beatles song was written by Paul McCartney in 1969. Paul sings about when he finds himself in times of trouble, “Mother Mary” comes to him. For years I thought he was referring to the Virgin Mary, but instead, he was singing of his mother, Mary who died when he was a young boy. McCartney has said he is grateful people find spirituality in his words, no matter which Mary they are thinking of while they sing along.

Thankfully, when I find myself in times of trouble, my mother and Mary are always there for me.

Please continue to pray for families in Ukraine.

“It doesn’t have to be blue iris, it can be weeds in a vacant lot. Just pay attention, then patch a few words together and don’t try to make them elaborate. This isn’t a contest but the doorway into thanks. A silence in which another voice may speak.”

– Mary Oliver, Praying

This photo moved me to send this prayer for Ukraine today…

Photo: Children at the central train station in Kyiv, Ukraine, look out from an evacuation train to Lviv March 3, as they say goodbye to their father. (CNS photo/Gleb Garanich, Reuters)

Catholic Agency for International Development

Loving God,
We pray for the people of Ukraine,
for all those suffering or afraid,
that you will be close to them and protect them.

We pray for world leaders,
for compassion, strength and wisdom to guide their choices.

We pray for the world
that in this moment of crisis,
we may reach out in solidarity
to our brothers and sisters in need.

May we walk in your ways
so that peace and justice
become a reality for the people of Ukraine
and for all the world.

Amen.

40 Reflections: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

No. 4

Ever since our kids were young, they’ve been on teams. Dance to baseball – soccer to swim and many in between. Our hope was always to give them the opportunity to learn discipline, cooperation, sportsmanship, how to lose graciously, and to always help teammates up when they fall, both physically and emotionally.

When my dad was a freshman in high school back in 1949, he and his buddy, Anthony signed up for the track team. Growing up working in the family grocery store daily, he asked his dad if it was okay if he stayed after school for practice. Always the businessman, grandpa said yes, as long as he was home at 3:00 pm to open the store. The first day of practice, dad and Anthony showed up to practice with the wrong type of socks so they headed to Montgomery Wards with no money to speak of and a plan for my dad to distract the salesman, while his friend tried to “acquire” socks for them. They were caught and then banned from Montgomery Wards. Later that day when dad didn’t show up at the store at 3:00, his athletic career ended before it had a chance to begin. No sports teams, but he always had friends over to the store to play cards while grandma fed everyone.

In 1952, my mom went to boarding school four hours away from her family due to discrimination toward Hispanics in her hometown. In order to pay her tuition, she worked at the school washing all of the bedding, cleaning, and playing the piano for school events. The nuns also had her play for the children’s mass every Sunday at the church about a mile away. She was 14. No sports teams, but a tribe of classmates that supported each other.

Somehow, without formal sports or teams, my parents learned about teamwork, and the joy of supporting those around them, especially each other. In the fall and winter, they shell pecans from their trees, split wood and stack it beautifully. In the spring and summer, they dry apples, plant tomatoes, and jalapeños, prune the peach and apricot trees and say a little prayer over the fig tree that it will “someday bear fruit.”

At 83 and 86, I imagine some days are tackled with love and intention and others are just too long. According to our Catholic faith, following our death comes a whole new life. A new beginning. A concept I tend to find alternately comforting and frightening. Just like the stillness of death and the quiet, it brings to the world.

The team and partnership they have formed over the last 62 years have every quality needed for success. Their will to sacrifice anything for each other, the little acts of service and love they show every day, and their ability to resolve conflicts, even if it just means forgiving and forgetting — as mom says, her memory is not like it used to be.

Today, dad has macular degeneration and the picture in this post shows mom reading the paper to dad. This is a team. This is a partnership. This is love.

Please pray for Ukraine

40 Reflections: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

No. 3

Last week, I called my dear friend and one of the best storytellers I know. She answered the phone forgoing mundane salutations and asked, “Do you know what love is?!” Scarcely pausing for an answer, she continued, “It is this tuna melt sandwich my husband just made me!” She went on to say she wasn’t sure if all the love came from gooey cheese involved or the simple fact that she didn’t have to make her own lunch. Either way, today’s love story for her is a delicious sandwich.

Recently, the New York Times purchased Wordle. If you have been living under a rock, Wordle is a word guessing game designed by Josh Wardle, a software engineer in Brooklyn. He developed this game for the sole purpose of letting his wordsmith partner know he loved her. Now thousands of people love Wordle.

I thought about the many times I arrived home and the laundry was washed, folded and put away, or the sink had been cleared of dishes and cleansed. This is love. How about the time the kids showed up with coffee for us and a note that said, “Happy first day of school” — definitely love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated…

1 Corinthians 13

Or when our dog greets us at the door with a hug welcoming us home…love again.

Show your love today, especially if it’s a cheezy, scrumptious tuna melt you make for someone.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Please pray for Ukrain

What is love to you? Leave a message in the comments!

40 Reflections: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

No. 2

“Might I,” quavered Mary, “might I have a bit of earth?” “Earth!” he repeated. “What do you mean?” “To plant seeds in — to make things grow — to see them come alive.” — Frances H. Burnett, The Secret Garden

Every morning, without fail, two kindergarten girls run into my classroom to give me a hug and say good morning. Feeling like a rock star, I thought, maybe—just maybe I’m one of the cool teachers whose students visit before they go to class.

Then one morning I happened to walk into school right behind my two faithful visitors. As they buzzed down the hallway, backpacks dangling from their arms, I realized I was watching two early birds actually get the worm – the worm being morning company.

First, they stopped in the very hip art teacher’s room to pick up coloring sheets, giggling all the way. They then took a left and peeked in to say hello to the four pre-k teachers, a counselor, and the math specialist. I scooted by them, flicked on my classroom light, and plopped into my desk chair. As I clicked open the lid to my travel cup to take my first sip of coffee, in bound Jane and Kate. I’m telling you, if I had not just seen the milk run they had just endured, I would have thought with all the love they had to share with me that I was their first visitor of the day. Spreading joy and bearing gifts (coloring pages from their first stop).

I thought about this all day. More so, I was thankful for it all day. Every morning I get to watch two 5-year-olds sprinkle happiness to so many.

I pictured a dandelion puff being blown around the school carrying little bits of sunshine to everyone around.

But instead, the spores of the flower were these two sweet girls.

As Jane and Kate left my room, they handed me the coloring page they acquired from their first stop and said, “This is for you. Color it beautiful”. “I most certainly will, thank you.”

We can all use this gentle shove toward the more cheerful side of things. So take time to find joy, give joy, and spread joy.

Please pray for Ukraine.

40 Reflections: 40 days of raw recollections during the Lenten Season

No. 1

“I know that a life is much richer with a spiritual part to it. And I also think nothing is more interesting. So I cling to it.”

― Mary Oliver

Five years ago on Ash Wednesday, I dug through my inner toolbox searching for shiny hammers, grippy-handled screwdrivers, and a fully charged drill to help reinforce the scaffolding of my spirituality. Turns out all I needed was a laptop and vulnerability.

So I began writing. For forty days. Sharing stories about the day-to-day minutia I cherish. The small moments where friendships, surrender, grace, and laughter keep me from falling flat. Quick conversations confirm I am not the only mom who feels more stressed about scholarships, applications, and pre-calculus tests than my kids, nor am I the only mom who loathes tik tok, yet find the videos my kids share to be thoroughly entertaining.

Five years later, I am recharging my laptop, and soul thinking of the great poet Mary Oliver who said,

“When you write a poem, you write it for anybody and everybody. And you have to be ready to do that out of your single self. It’s a giving.”

My hope is you gleam a little something positive from my corner of the world this Lenten season.

Meditation: Please pray for the Ukrain

Lenten Reflections #38

“Don’t worry, you’re not going to Hell!” I yelled back.

Then I stopped and thought for a second. I suppose I can’t really promise where any of us are going, in the BIG picture, but I can guess.

I figured…he’s a really great kid, so I was confident with my response.

I had some time, so I did a little research…just in case St. Peter needed a good explanation at the gate other than “My mom told me it was fine!”

Here’s what I learned:
As most Catholics know abstaining from meat on Fridays during Lent is a way to remember Jesus’ Passion and to offer a small sacrifice for God. Fridays are seen as a time to fast and pray (or say Rosary’s, like we did growing up).

According to the Code of Canon Law, “Abstinence from meat, or from some other food as determined by the Episcopal Conference, is to be observed on all Fridays, unless a solemnity should fall on a Friday” (Can. 1251).

What is a day of “solemnity”?

Days of “solemnity” are the highest order of liturgical feast, meaning that Catholics are to observe it similar to a Sunday. Both St. Joseph’s feast day and St. Patrick’s Day are considered days of solemnity. They are days of celebration, therefore any type of fasting or abstinence from meat is not requited on those days.

So…

IF for some reason you have made, eaten and digested a large roast beef sandwich while taking an Algebra test on a Friday during Lent like my son, you really are okay. Why? Because there was no intent to disobey the Church by eating meat. For a sin to be a sin, it requires active engagement of your will. Sins aren’t accidental.

There can be, however, a venial (smaller) sin involved if we simply forget the day — which shows we have become too distracted by other things and should focus on keeping God at the center.

That was my goal today…focus on God.

Jesus held my inner gaze today. Typically Good Fridays are rainy and dreary. Today it was cold, but sunny…so I worked outside, washed the cars, weeded, mowed the lawn and cleaned inside, my prep for Easter Sunday, the Resurrection.

The best part of the day was going with my daughter and two of her friends to Good Friday services. I’m always amazed and so pleased when teenagers show up to mass after they are confirmed. Usually that’s their ticket out..the moment they figure out they really don’t need to go.

Today we showed up for services willingly and gladly, kneeling together, praying side by side, all sharing the same intentions and values. Jesus at the helm.

Whether you ate meat today or didn’t hold to your Lenten promises every moment for the last 40 days, it’s okay. As for me, I misspelled, fell asleep writing posts, and posted late. But I have felt every word, every moment, every day. My small struggle to get words on a page will never compare to Jesus’ sacrifice.

I do hope I have touched you all…thanks for reading.

Until tomorrow. Have faith and stay fit.