Category: Family, Faith and Fitness

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Holding each other up

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

40 Lenten Reflections – #2

I love writing about my parents. However, every time I start, I never finish as there is so much to share. Instead, I sit and stare at 17 blog drafts about Mom and Dad and keep writing. 

But today when I was working on Venn Diagrams with first graders, thoughts about my parents escalated. As we discussed characteristics that make us unique and similar to each other, the kids wrote things like “Bella likes Barbies and I like the Braves, but we’re BOTH crazy at recess!”

We discussed what makes each of us special and why it’s important to respect each other even if our friends root for the Braves while we cheer on the Yankees. We also talked about what connects all of us…being afraid of the dark, liking pizza, and loving PE. Then one slight, wide-eyed girl said, “My mom and dad don’t live together anymore, that makes me different.”

That’s when my heartstrings started tugging. I couldn’t help but think of my own mom and dad. They have been married for nearly 60 years and were both born in the 1930s into Hispanic families with simple, humble beginnings. Their similarities indeed outnumbered their differences.

As octogenarians, my folks give more than they take, pray for others before themselves, and cherish family. Sure there are differences. Every phone call, Dad says he feels “GREAT!” no matter what because he’s “just happy to be here.” Mom will candidly tell you if she’s not feeling well. And I chuckle every time she says “Okay, I’m done,” when she’s exhausted from talking/listening to me on the phone. On the other hand, if she held a plank in Pilates longer than her classmates, she’d definitely stretch the conversation.

I am constantly awed by my parents.

As in the photo above, they literally and figuratively hold each other up physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

You’ll hear more about them throughout these 40 days and more.

Celebrate what makes you special, but remember in the Venn Diagram of life, the big chunk in the middle shows just how similar we really are…

Pray for others…and please be kind.

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness, Parenting/Running/Pets

Reuse and recycle it all!

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

REDUCE

I grew up in a no-waste home. Bones were given to our dog Dusty, and our “compost” was a bucket filled with the wilted iceberg lettuce and corn cobs which we dumped into the lamb’s pen. Every stray branch was used as kindling for the fire. And newspapers with nearly completed crosswords were laid out and used for serving hot popcorn while we watched Jeopardy or Johnny Carson’s monologue.

RECYCLE

Water is priceless in New Mexico. In the summertime, water drips from the side of my childhood home where the swamp cooler runs. Alongside the brick, my mom has nestled a small McCoy planter in the gravel to catch the water. This oasis serves as a resting spot for what might be the most robust toad in New Mexico. When the planter is filled, mom shares the water with her tomato plants and returns the toad’s tiny home to its spot to refill.

REUSE

I’ve picked up a lot of these no-waste habits from my conscientious parents and yesterday found myself practicing another one of their tricks.

Here’s how it goes:

It may sound crazy, but I try to vacuum daily. We have two dogs. TWO. That’s one away from crazy. And, they are NOT the purebred, never shed, well-behaved type. They are the insanely lovable, loud, shed-like-crazy mutts that are so cute you can hardly stand it. So I vacuum and vacuum and then I do it one more time.

Yesterday I was about to go over the carpet and realize I had completely surpassed the mark on the vacuum bag that says DO NOT FILL OVER THIS LINE. The bag was so full, the vacuum itself felt significantly heavier. I glanced down at the carpet and saw mud from someone’s shoes they “forgot” to take off and spots where the dogs decided to roll so they could spread the dirt in the neglected areas.

Time to clean up the mess…

Unfortunately, I thought I was ahead of the game and gleefully opened the closet and saw every type of bag EXCEPT what I needed. Of course, I did the logical move and tried to force a Hoover bag into a Riccar vacuum. It didn’t work last time, but I had to try again.

In this case, one size did NOT fit all so I thought…what would mom and dad do?

Well, if they had not picked up extra Electrolux bags at Sears or the last yard sale they went to, it would be DIY time.

I reluctantly fished out the used vacuum bag I flippantly tossed in the trash barrel and knew what I HAD to do. With no time to go to the store or use Amazon, I pulled up my sleeves, stood over the trash bin and removed all the yuck (and one missing sock) from the bag. The garage looked like a scene from the Grapes of Wrath.

After emptying the bag (and dusting myself off), I finished my job and marveled at how well the vacuum worked with the “new” bag.

My parents continue to teach me so much about reusing, recycling, saving, and being a smart consumer. From watching This Old House with dad growing up or using YouTube now, I am convinced DIY jobs are worth a try and recycling is ALWAYS the right thing to do.

I know this vacuum hack produces a lot of dust, but I saved a few dollars, found a sock and saved one more bag from going into a landfill.

Do you have any clever recycling/reusing tips? Please share in the comments below.

Thanks for reading 🙂

BONUS INFO:

I later researched a clever way to empty and reuse vacuum bags.

Here’s what I found:

To empty a vacuum bag multiple times here is a suggestion from the  Do It Yourself Website.

  1. Get a strip of duct tape and tape it vertically along the back of the bag (the opposite side of where the bag opening is) that covers about 2/3 of the bag’s length. Cut a slit through the tape and through the bag, taking care not to cut all the way through to the other side of the bag. Leave about an inch or so at either end of the tape uncut. Empty out the bag.
  2. Cut another strip of duct tape long enough to cover the slit. Add another inch and fold over the end of the tape onto itself about ½ inch from the end. This will provide for a handy little non-sticking end that will make it easier to pull off. Affix this new strip of tape over the slit.
  3. Replace the bag in the vacuum. Next time you have to empty the bag, merely peel off the top strip (using the end that has that neat little handle) and empty out the contents.

Happy cleaning…

 

 

 

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness, Parenting/Running/Pets

From pre-k to the president – why we all need a pacifier

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

When I was working in a pre-k class last week, I noticed a behavior pattern among the students. As soon as the cleanup bell rang, little Nathan caught my eyes and defiantly dumped all the dinosaurs out of their bin. Knowing it was wrong, he instinctively stuck his thumb in his mouth.

His eyes said he was sorry, and his thumb squelched the potential protest looming. His four-year-old brain was cued to know just when to pacify himself in lieu of screaming.

Hand over hand, we put the dinosaurs away together.

It happened again with a kindergartner. I could see in her gulf-coast blue eyes her struggle to decipher why she is suddenly ONLY spending Saturday and Sunday with her dad and the rest of the week with her mom.

When she approached me for a hug she pulled the end of her “Be a Unicorn” t-shirt out of her mouth to say hi. After the squeeze, she grabbed the comforting seam of her shirt and ran off to play.

Any other day she would have told me something about her and Emma having the EXACT SAME strawberry yogurt at lunch or how she collected the shiniest rocks EVER during recess…but it was a Monday and transition from dad to mom was exhausting on her little heart.

What struck me about these and other kids was their ability to know when to stop. When not to complain, or rant, or argue. I’m not saying they shouldn’t share their worries and wonders, but somehow these two knew it was not the right time.

Their little minds told them to listen instead of talk. Move on instead of stall.

I find in today’s world, we each have our own pacifiers. Maybe it’s not a thumb or shirt we’re using…it’s more likely to be a cell phone or earbuds drowning out the noise.

Unfortunately, when I listen to the news I notice most people forget or neglect their pacifiers and still spew out hurtful, divisive, and hate-filled words. When I drive down the road, bumper stickers scream at me and tell me who NOT to vote for, how they define the word “great” or how I should feel about guns and whales.

Freedom of Speech is priceless, but all of us, whether we’re president or in pre-k, need to know when to pop our thumbs in our mouths and search our hearts for kind, appropriate words to use.

Like my dad says, “even if you think it’s a LITTLE wrong, don’t say it…(and mom would chime in)…and DEFINITELY don’t write it down!”

Bottom line: Use your inside voice, think before you speak and be kind to others.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness, Parenting/Running/Pets, siblings

Daily blogging – keep reaching, keep writing

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

In my home, there’s a “blogging season” as my husband calls it. For the last few years, I’ve been blogging during the 40 days of Lent. I’d tell a story and include a prayer and workout at the end of each post. It was rewarding. It was hard. It was what Lent should feel like.

At the beginning of 2020, I started blogging every day because life seemed to be moving faster and since I still haven’t located a PAUSE button, I knew I’d better share my story. Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

“A man is what he thinks about all day.”

I think about writing and the sunny feeling I get when I help others or touch their lives. (With three kids going to college soon, perhaps I should think a bit more about tuition money).

Let’s just say I’m like a Border Collie with a constant head tilt completely engrossed in 50- shades of everything, and the nuances of nothing. I think of stories constantly. Not in an Emerson “Self-Reliance” kind of way, more in a Seinfeld “show about nothing” kind of way.

I am always thinking about how all of us are linked and how sharing our stories helps us celebrate our milestones or hold each other up in our toughest moments.

Maybe it’s commiserating on how tricky it can be to shuttle three kids to three different practices starting at the same time.

Or maybe it’s about trying to help your children with homework as you pretend to remember what ‘slope-intercept’ or ‘rhetorical writing’ means.

Or maybe it’s listening to your own 80-something parents on speakerphone as they recount their day going from church to the doctor and then the grocery store, all the while wishing you were there to drive them, hover over them and hold their hands for balance and warmth.

Perhaps it’s a middle school story about our kids being too shy, too needy, too weird.

Or maybe like me, it’s when you hear the news about a mom you worked with for years on PTA who died in her sleep and how she was too young and won’t get to see her children graduate.

Blogging reminds me of writing my fears and favorites in my childhood diary. It had a green satin cover and that little tiny key I hid and lost, and used a bobby pin instead. Writing to me is a chronicle, proof, opinion, and vulnerability…the more I do it, the easier it is.

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Outliers, he claims the way to achieve world-class mastery in any skill is to repeatedly doing something correctly for 10,000 hours. It’s this deliberate practice that leads to expertise.

I’m certainly not an expert — and 10,000 hours of anything sounds just awful. My goal instead is to help, share, connect, and tell the funny, sad and wacky moments I know I’m not the only one out there experiencing.

So I’ll try and write every day and build my muscle memory. I may not press PUBLISH daily, but I trust there will ALWAYS be something amusing or amazing to jot down and share with you.

What’s your daily practice? Please share in the comments below.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness, Parenting/Running/Pets, siblings

Are parental decisions laced with selfishness?

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Our kids didn’t attend pre-school. There. I said it.

We did, however, visit one in Virginia back in 2006.

It was off of Columbia Pike, a big commuter thoroughfare in Falls Church. The fancy, stone building looked more like Hogwarts than a preschool. SUV’s and minivans loaded with all the latest screens and cushy car seats lined the parking lot. Once inside, children’s Picasso-inspired artwork lined the walls and kid-sized water fountains dotted the hallways. Outside each doorway stood joyful, young pre-school teachers greeting students and when we visited the classrooms, they were filled with building blocks, endless art supplies, and dress-up costumes so kids could pretend to be whatever they could imagine.

After the tour, we figured we had to do it. We couldn’t possibly deprive our children of the chance to play and learn with kids in this amazing setting.

Or could we?

Back then, the thought of packing up my three pumpkins in the car, driving in rush hour traffic, unloading all three, leaving one and turning around for pick up in a few hours sounded as fun as running barefoot over a lego laden floor.

Simply exhausting. For me.

But as parents, don’t we sometimes lace our decisions with a little selfishness?

For instance, the other day I bought ‘cheezy’ pretzels “for the kids”…but I secretly love them and could eat the entire bag. Another time I signed all of the kids up for year-round swim tryouts slyly knowing my daughter would be the only one who MIGHT want to join the team. Deep down, I knew there was no way she would have put one toe in the water unless her brothers were suffering alongside her. Now she’s on her way to the High School State Swim Meet. Yet another decision made for the good of the group. (Ha!)

Turned out before we had the chance to try the stone-covered kid sanctuary, we moved to Georgia and much like DC and Virginia, most kids attended preschool.

Not us. We were new in the suburbs and stuck together…at home, the library, book stores, museums and lots of parks. We kept our kids home until kindergarten so they could “bond” i.e: fight, cry, laugh, play, nap, sing, learn, grow, read and just be together. Was it always easy? Heck no. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Plus, I could barely find my way to the grocery store much less a preschool.

In retrospect, best decision ever. For ALL OF US.

 

 

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness, Other, Parenting/Running/Pets, siblings, Uncategorized

Substitute teaching and recess: learning in the field

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

I’ve worked as a substitute teacher at my children’s former elementary school for years. It’s a good gig. Flexible, most tough moments are healed with a hug or a shiny sticker and there’s recess every day.

Working at the school was especially nice when my children attended. One of my favorite memories was peeking over at my son at lunch when he stealthily said his prayers before he ate. He bowed his head and mastered the speedy 7-year-old sign of the cross touchdown style without the pointing-up-to-heaven and chest bang parts.

Simply said, substitute teaching is like being the crazy-fun aunt who visits every few months, has secret dance moves and always has gum.

Kids like a new face once in a while and most students already know I love recess so it’s a win-win. I actually thought about contacting Meghan Markle and asking if she’d like me to be her substitute Duchess of Sussex. I have the experience, I can pull off a crown and a good cockney accent (I sang an Eliza Doolittle song for Jr. Miss in high school) and being an old soul, I think the Queen and I would really hit it off.

This week I was lucky enough to substitute in a 2nd-grade class. My primary job was to shadow Maddie, an invincible gal who needed a little bit of support, physically.

My favorite moments of the day were during recess…where invaluable lessons are digested into their little souls.

Once in the recess “field”, Maddie dashed directly to her dear friend Keegan whose toothless smile seemed to say I’m glad you’re here. I pegged him as one of those friends you could sit with when you’re 40 and tell him your messy and sweet stories and he would listen with wide eyes.

My gal continually asked Keegan, “Do you remember when we met… SHORT PAUSE…it was in the hallway in first grade…SHORTER PAUSE…do you remember the face you made?” She told him he smiled when they met. She relished the memory.

Keegan gave her a quick side hug and said, “Let’s play portals!”

He orchestrated a game where each section of the field served as a “portal” (safe place) and we had to RUN from one to the next BEFORE the doors closed. I love to move but gee whiz the portals were really far away from each other. Maddie was quick and determined to keep up with her classmates and I jogged alongside like a cicada bug arms outstretched blocking flying soccer balls and tag games.

After we arrived at the fourth portal, Keegan announced there was a monster coming and we had to run! I was trying not to interject my ideas in the game, but craving a little break, I told everyone I packed invisibility cloaks in my back pocket and we could hide. That worked for about one minute. On the next GO! we followed him to the next portal and as he ran off he said, “Don’t worry, Maddie, we’ll keep the door open for you!” 

Breathless, we jumped in the invisible doorway and a new portal player said,

“Okay, huddle up! Here’s a big cauldron (he pointed to a grassy area), and if we put one of ANYTHING inside, the cauldron will give us ONE MORE…(he stuck his hand in)…see, now I have three hands!”

They went around the circle and announced their superpowers which ranged from strength to crystal transformer. Then they took turns reading secret messages written on leaves and wrote notes of wisdom with sticks in their own language.

We heard the jingle from the handbell across the field which signaled it was time to go inside. One boy hugged his friend and said, “I doubled you in the cauldron so I’ll leave you here and take one of you with me.” They all giggled as he ran off with his hand outstretched hugging his invisible friend. Maddie and I decided we should walk to the line and just like that, we were back inside – invisibility cloaks stuffed in my pocket for next time.

It’s true, most days I learn more from substitute teaching than I can ever give. In just that 30 minutes I was reminded:

  • as we age and our souls callous, deep in our hearts lie our 2nd-grade superpowers.

  • someone is always holding that portal door open for us so why not take a risk and jump over the threshold.

  • 30 minutes of play is priceless.

  • be the crazy-fun aunt.

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness, Parenting/Running/Pets

From doghouse to the dining room

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

Inside or Outside pets?

I grew up in a home where animals were kept outside. You know the “place for everything and everything in its place” mentality. It didn’t mean we loved our pets any less. Mom grew up milking her favorite cow, Manzanita (little apple) every morning and delivered the milk in her wagon to save up for a Kodak Brownie Camera. Dad didn’t have pets growing up, as he worked so much in my grandpa’s grocery store he hardly had time to go to school, much less take care of a pet. We grew up with dogs that stayed outside and a sweet fluffy cat I played with, in the backyard.

The only dog I knew that was allowed to roam on the linoleum floors in the kitchen was my grandmother’s Chihuahua, Romeo. Truthfully whether he was inside or out, depended on whether the slap screen to her backdoor was ajar or not. I can still hear her holler in her strong Spanish accent “RRRRRomeo come!!”

When I was in grade school my dear dog Dusty was a loyal companion, and definitely an “outdoor” dog. Dad and I made her a doghouse with a pitched roof and my oldest sister wrote “Dusty” above the door in fancy letters. She slept in the garage when it was cold, and hollowed out a den for her puppies under our woodpile when she delivered her eight puppies. She ate ALL leftovers except iceberg lettuce and fetched sticks along the ditch behind our home.

Come on in Fido!

So when exactly did we let the dogs IN? The animal and human bond has been studied by the University of Oxford and shows the actual domestication of animals is still a mystery. In fact, 12,000 years ago dogs and cats were buried with humans, so perhaps the idea of “man’s best friend” has been around longer than we think.

After college, various roommates had inside dogs and I loved the joyful greetings after work and the snuggles at night. When Dusty died at 17 years old – the outdoors were good to her, I adopted a sweet lab/chow mix, named her Misty and kept her inside unless she was playing, pooping or we were running.

Set the table, Lola!

I began thinking about how domestic is too domestic when I saw my dog, Lola, lying on the dining room table. As a Border Collie or Australian Shepard (jury is still out), she is constantly looking for sheep, kids, other dogs, and food. So in her defense, being a little higher up gives her the proverbial “bird’s eye” view of what’s on deck.

Not surprisingly, when I mention her love of high, flat surfaces to people, most are mortified that she’s allowed to bunk on the dining room table (we do clean it before serving dinner, really). Others think it’s “SO cute”, yet a little concerning. I suppose it’s our new normal. One dog takes the floor and watches for intruders or a runaway Cheerio while the other pulls up a chair and uses the table as a tree stand.

I adore our dogs and couldn’t imagine not having a tail-wagging recklessly in our home. Inside or outside, they are family. Then again, I’m the one scrubbing a dining room table every day — but it’s worth it.

So my question to you is: Is your dog in charge? When you answer, could you keep it down? Lola just fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

We’re outside playing…

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

When we were looking for homes in the Atlanta area, we were stunned by the beauty and size of the homes. In our hunt, my ideal neighborhood had sidewalks for running/walking, a local Catholic Church (plus a Trader Joe’s) and ample space for our kids to play.

We finally settled on a lovely home so spacious it could easily fit our quaint Falls Church, VA townhome inside. The bonus was the large walkout backyard (uh-oh no basement for teenagers) and a garage to store lots of stuff we continually talk about donating or selling.

Our first few weeks in suburbia the temperature reached record highs up to 108 degrees. It was awful.

Once it cooled off (99 degrees), we stepped outside to play and were surrounded by empty yards and quiet streets. (!)

Where the **beep** were all the kids we saw in the real estate brochure? (No, there wasn’t really a brochure, but still!)

Naturally, not much deters our family from going outside, so we stayed and played. Every day a little more, eventually connecting with our neighbors. Turns out Hotlanta is a thing. And for most people, the 108-degree temperature was their kryptonite, understandably so.

In my research of outdoor play and it’s unending benefits, I happened upon the 1,000 Hours Outside Challenge, a brilliant idea that involves tracking the time our kids spend outside. “The entire point of 1000 Hours Outside is to attempt to match nature time with screen time. If kids can consume media through screens 1200 hours a year on average then the time is there and at least some of it can and should be shifted towards a more productive and healthy outcome.”

I love this idea and the mission of 1,000 Hours Outside. As an advocate for all things play, I implore families to step outside together in the rain, wind, snow, and sunshine and celebrate the fleeting time we have together.

One more note: if you move to Hotlanta, come in the spring.

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

Gandhi and MLK – real heroes of peace

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

This week we observed Martin Luther King Jr. Day, marking the 25th anniversary of the day of service that celebrates the Civil Rights leader’s life and legacy.

According to the King Institute at Stanford University, Gandhi’s passion for non-violence directly influenced Martin Luther King, Junior. MLK argued that the Gandhian philosophy was “the only morally and practically sound method open to oppressed people in their struggle for freedom.”

Both men were selfless, kind, and generous. They embraced others and fought injustice.

Imagine if today’s world viewed life through the prism of these two heroes. The result would indeed be an array of peace, non-violence, and justice.

Today I thought I’d share two simple and remarkable quotes by both extraordinary men:

I spotted this quote in a church in upstate New York and the sentiment and truth are indelible and worthy of sharing.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. 

-Mahatma Gandhi

Martin Luther King Jr. on Gandhi:

“Christ showed us the way, and Gandhi in India showed it could work.”

Live your lives with strength, mercy, and kindness.

Posted in Family, Faith and Fitness

failure

Posted on by Lucretia Cahill

You know when you get that slight tickle in the back of your throat and you’re certain it’s the precursor to a long sinus/cold/allergy situation? I get that same feeling when a stressful week for the kids is on the horizon, except there’s no tickle, it’s more like the sharp, piercing pain from stepping on stray legos. 

There’s a good chance every week is taxing and cumbersome when you’re a teenager these days, so I make it a routine to cross my fingers and pray for success…or failure…both foster growth, one just has more tears. 

I rejuvenated this post: Paper airplanes taught my kids to fail from a few years ago on how my kids mastered failure.

Paper airplanes taught my kids to fail

The folding. The flying. The fixing.

After each failed flight I taught them to tweak it. Adjust it. Change it.

To try again.

They used paper clips, tape, rubber bands, light paper, heavy paper, newspaper, tissue paper.

The INTENTION was to make the plane fly.

If it didn’t work, they made another plane.

They learned there’s no guarantee for success.

Sure it was small. But they tested, they measured.

They learned what each fold was for and why they made it.

No score was being kept.

They learned what uncertainty and failure felt like and danced with it.

They were invested in finding the flight.

They learned the worst that could happen was it wouldn’t work.

They still tweaked and fixed.

They learned when you care enough you will fail and fail and fail again.

It’s their airplane. Their flight. Their crash. Their landing. 

But they were curious and hungry.

Let them fold. Let them fail.

Let them create. 

After all…the creative mind who invented the ship also invented the shipwreck.

Here’s a great article for more information on how to succeed by failing:

How to Help Kids Learn to Fail

Only through trial and error can children become resilient adults